The Guardian

Weekly horoscopes


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Aries: Trying a new flavor of yogurt is key to having a good week, Aries. The stars recommend all of the non-conventional flavors, because they are a true test of character. Your lucky fruit: pineapples.

Taurus: Looks like you’re embarking on a journey in the near future, Taurus! But never fear, singing classic 80’s hits should keep the boredom at bay. Just don’t stop beleivin’. Your lucky fruit: blueberries.

Gemini: Wearing only stripes for the next two weeks will ensure you ace your finals, Gemini. This means underwear too. If you want to pass, you have to commit. Your lucky fruit: bananas.

Cancer: You will find a lucky heads-up quarter on the ground, Cancer. Pennies are overrated with no evidence to prove they bring good luck. Quarters have your back. Your lucky fruit: oranges.

Leo: Purple is your lucky color this week, Leo. Even purple colored foods are lucky. But spray painting your food to make it purple is cheating, and probably toxic. Your lucky fruit: cherries.

Virgo: It is up to you to create your own destiny, Virgo. Anything is possible: climbing four flights of stairs without becoming winded or eating an entire burrito bowl from Chipotle. Your lucky fruit: pears.

Libra: You need a motto, Libra. Something to live your life by, it will give you a sense of purpose. Don’t know what a motto is? Then what’s the motto with you? Your lucky fruit: watermelon

Scorpio: Use your magical powers of talking to scorpions this week, Scorpio! Giving a scorpion a bow tie could do wonders for their scary appearance. Your lucky fruit: grapefruit.

Sagittarius: A fugitive emu will ask for your help this week, Sagittarius. It is advised you let the emu be captured, lest you become a fugitive yourself. Your lucky fruit: grapes.

Capricorn: Caramel covered popcorn may seem delightful and sweet, but this could bring you bad lucky, Capricorn. Beware of the caramel covered goodness, it may turn on you. Your lucky fruit: strawberries.

Aquarius: Your dream job is waiting for you, Aquarius! Keep the faith, your hard work will pay off. In the meantime, relax and watch some Netflix. You got this. Your lucky fruit: apples.

Pisces: The sunshine can only mean one thing: drinking copious amounts of lemonade. More specifically, drinking lemonade with a cool bendy straw. This is essential to the process. Your lucky fruit: mangos

 

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Wright State University
Weekly horoscopes