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Weekly horoscopes


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Aries: Your perseverance will be tested this week, Aries. Looks like your professor will not be rounding that 79.5% to an 80% on your exam. I know it hurts, but you’ll get through it. Your lucky pizza topping: mushrooms.

Taurus: Might want to lay off the beer, Taurus, or you’ll get a beer belly. Unless the dad/mom bod is what you’re striving for, then by all means, keeping on drinking. Commit to the cause! Your lucky pizza topping: pepperoni.

Gemini: Don’t worry, Gemini, you haven’t been sending too many memes to your friends. They just don’t appreciate what good humor is. Just double up on what you’ve been sending them, and they’ll join the dark side. Your lucky pizza topping: anchovies.

Cancer: Layoff the caffeine this week, Cancer. It’s probably not a good thing that your eye keeps twitching like that. Maybe cut down to 2 cups a day or find a tea that you like. Your lucky pizza topping: bacon.

Leo: You need to channel your inner Beyoncé and feel yourself this week, Leo. So wear that shirt you had second thoughts on. Wear socks and sandals, wearing clashing colors. Go for it. Your lucky pizza topping: banana peppers.

Virgo: Time to turn that frown upside down, Virgo. You could do that by using your fingers to make yourself smile, although that might look a bit weird. But it’s still a smile. Your lucky pizza topping: roasted red pepper.

Libra: Time to spread some happiness today, Libra. Send at least one text to someone and tell them what you like most about them. Remember, it’s the small things in life. Your lucky pizza topping: onions.

Scorpio: Only listen to classical music this week, Scorpio. Not only will it keep you relaxed, and you may even sleep better. Anyone can rock out to Beethoven or Chopin. Your lucky pizza topping: feta cheese.

Sagittarius: You will be faced with a serious decision this week, Sagittarius. Will you get your caramel macchiato hot or iced? When in doubt, just flip a coin. Your lucky pizza topping: chicken.

Capricorn: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Capricorn. And no, being around your iPhone is a not a sufficient substitute. Just eat a freakin’ apple, it’s good for you. Your lucky pizza topping: pineapple.

Aquarius: Your productivity will be rewarded this week, Aquarius. For every page you write, you can eat one Starburst. Hopefully you don’t have too much to write or you’ll have a stomachache. Your lucky pizza topping: mac n’ cheese.

Pisces: Try your hand at baking this week, Pisces. The stars recommend making Snicker doodles. They truly are the best cookies, and whoever says otherwise is a liar. Your lucky pizza topping: green pepper.

 

 

 

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Wright State University
Weekly horoscopes