2008 Woodie Awards
Know your wedding etiquette
Nicole DeVendra
Issue date: 1/24/07 Section: Weddings
- Page 1 of 1
For many college students, wedding bells will be ringing in the near future. Knowing the proper wedding etiquette will help to ensure that your big day stays classy.
Kim Shaw's book "The New Book of Wedding Etiquette" provides many tips for brides-to-be and guests alike, beginning with etiquette for planning a wedding.
Shaw outlines three degrees of formality for a wedding. A very formal wedding takes place in the morning, usually around 11 a.m. or in the evening after six. It generally takes place in a church or synagogue.
A very formal wedding calls for engraved invitations and a seated dinner with music afterwards.
A formal wedding can take place in a church or synagogue, or in another location at any time of the day.
A bride and groom have no more than six attendants each, and a reception can be a seated dinner or served buffet style. Invitations do not have to be engraved.
An informal wedding can be held any time of the day, at any location. A bride and groom have one attendant each. A reception is informal and does not necessarily coincide with a mealtime. Invitations can be extended by invitation or by a personal note or telephone call.
When registering for wedding gifts, Shaw suggests registering by the time you send out save-the-date cards. She also suggests registering for gifts in a wide price range to give guests more options. It is bad etiquette to ask for money as a wedding gift, even if you need it. Gifts should be sent to the bride.
Thank you notes should be sent out quickly, ideally the day the gift is received. Couples do not have a year after the wedding to send thank you's, according to Shaw.
Notes should be handwritten. If a wedding is cancelled, all gifts should be returned with a note.
If couples choose to write their own vows for the ceremony, Shaw says they should be short and positive.
She also said couples should have a cheat-sheet in the form of a printed index card in case they forget. Guests who arrive late should not be seated after the groom's mother is seated, and should wait until the bride's mother is seated and choose an inconspicuous seat.
At the reception, Shaw said couples should keep an extra table for guests who do not RSVP or arrive late. Favors are not required, but are a nice touch.
Guests should never criticize reception arrangements or make special food requests. The bride and groom and groom's family should try to say a few words to every guest.
Shaw says that a rehearsal is necessary to ensure that the wedding runs smoothly. The entire wedding party should attend, along with the parents of the bride and groom. It should be held in the late afternoon. A rehearsal dinner is generally hosted by the groom's parents and held right after the rehearsal.
Kim Shaw's book "The New Book of Wedding Etiquette" provides many tips for brides-to-be and guests alike, beginning with etiquette for planning a wedding.
Shaw outlines three degrees of formality for a wedding. A very formal wedding takes place in the morning, usually around 11 a.m. or in the evening after six. It generally takes place in a church or synagogue.
A very formal wedding calls for engraved invitations and a seated dinner with music afterwards.
A formal wedding can take place in a church or synagogue, or in another location at any time of the day.
A bride and groom have no more than six attendants each, and a reception can be a seated dinner or served buffet style. Invitations do not have to be engraved.
An informal wedding can be held any time of the day, at any location. A bride and groom have one attendant each. A reception is informal and does not necessarily coincide with a mealtime. Invitations can be extended by invitation or by a personal note or telephone call.
When registering for wedding gifts, Shaw suggests registering by the time you send out save-the-date cards. She also suggests registering for gifts in a wide price range to give guests more options. It is bad etiquette to ask for money as a wedding gift, even if you need it. Gifts should be sent to the bride.
Thank you notes should be sent out quickly, ideally the day the gift is received. Couples do not have a year after the wedding to send thank you's, according to Shaw.
Notes should be handwritten. If a wedding is cancelled, all gifts should be returned with a note.
If couples choose to write their own vows for the ceremony, Shaw says they should be short and positive.
She also said couples should have a cheat-sheet in the form of a printed index card in case they forget. Guests who arrive late should not be seated after the groom's mother is seated, and should wait until the bride's mother is seated and choose an inconspicuous seat.
At the reception, Shaw said couples should keep an extra table for guests who do not RSVP or arrive late. Favors are not required, but are a nice touch.
Guests should never criticize reception arrangements or make special food requests. The bride and groom and groom's family should try to say a few words to every guest.
Shaw says that a rehearsal is necessary to ensure that the wedding runs smoothly. The entire wedding party should attend, along with the parents of the bride and groom. It should be held in the late afternoon. A rehearsal dinner is generally hosted by the groom's parents and held right after the rehearsal.
